butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
