The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
