After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Welp...herpes.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
