I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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