i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
sex in a hospital.. check
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
