You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
