I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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