i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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