WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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