he shaved USA in his pubs
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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