why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
