My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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