trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
