I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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