Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
