A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
