Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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