Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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