I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
