I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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