you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
