How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
