addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
