We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You need a sexual gate keeper
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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