I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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