The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
