I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
