O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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