Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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