There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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