They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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