just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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