Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
