you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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