we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
