I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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