she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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