I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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