After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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