I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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