Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There's always time for handjobs
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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