"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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