I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
