No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
