I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
