my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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