omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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