Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
