so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
