What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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