When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
