where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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